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 Filed as : Wine TipsNewsGeneral

Disturbing dog outfits and wine cozies

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  • Publish Date: Aug 25, 2010

Play Dress-Up
Couture for Cabernet and cocker spaniels.

You know that awkward, cringe-inducing feeling you get when you see someone's dressed his or her dog in a terrible outfit? We sometimes get the same feeling when we see the cozies people put on wine bottles. And the more we looked into it, the more we discovered that the outfits designed for dogs and the cozies for wine bottles are frighteningly similar.

We've found bride-and-groom outfits. Trojan armor. Office suits. You name the attire, and someone's designed it to fit either a dog or a wine bottle. (Yes, we actually spent hours researching this.)

Read on to see some hilarious, strikingly similar outfits for canines and wine bottles, then tell us which is your favorite--or which is least frightening. Same thing, really.

1. "I now pronounce you Dolcetto and Dog"

If your relationship began with two bottles of wine, then--and only then--are these wine cozies appropriate. As for the dog outfits, we're not sure what to think.

2. Shiraz in Shining Armor

Your dog and your bottle of wine can both come to the rescue. If you’ve dressed your dog up in armor, we sincerely hope it was because you finished the contents of the bottle. On an empty stomach.

3. Crouching Claret, Hidden Harrier

A bottle of wine should never beat you up--unless it has 16% alcohol. In which case, you’re just asking for it. The dog? He doesn’t look like he asked for this at all.

4. Business Formal

There is perhaps no better way to mock the dress code of an event than to dress a wine bottle in a suit sleeve. And there’s no better way to mock the boss than to dress up a dog…and give him a Blackberry.

5. More fur? Really?

Dressing your dog in a fur-rimmed coat is pointless--unless you live in Siberia. Dressing up wine bottles in fur? Only if you're a Real Housewives cast member.

6. Tea time or wine time?

Both are perfectly acceptable for mocking the House of Windsor. But little else.

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